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Melinda MaxwellSmith's avatar

The concept of distortion becoming structure before it's cleared defines my childhood. My father, who worked for a newspaper, in the '60s sometimes brought home huge rolls of what was then called newsprint. One day he taped onto a cinderblock wall in the patio an eight foot length of the three-foot wide blank paper and handed me a pencil. He stood to my left. At ten years of age I was terrified of my father in general and felt incapable of drawing anything that would be acceptable to him. (In addition to being a fine photographer, he was also a talented artist.)

I stood there with the afternoon sun at my back. Facing the middle of this huge paper and seeing my own shadow I began trembling, but made a tiny line with the pencil, then erased it immediately. He screamed, "NO! There's no erasure! If you make a mistake, make it big enough so you can SEE it and learn from it!" A potent and now, after separating out his good points from his alcoholism and violent behavior, a positive message.

Dad left the family shortly after that. I continued to be terrified of him up until the week he was dying of "cancer of the everything." I was sixteen and had just gotten my driver's license so drove to visit him at the Veterans' Hospital Long Beach, CA. He was in a coma. I sat at his side and held his left hand, marveling at the familiar nicotine stains on his fingers and the black/brown thumbnail he used as a palette to put the ink he used to touch-up photos he'd taken for the paper. His hand felt warm and safe to look at. I was tearful - thinking about how creative, destructive, and sad his short life had been.

I realized we humans had no idea what's going on in someone else's brain when they're unconscious... it could be beautiful; it could be horrific. When in doubt, I decided, it's best to speak as if the person ~ even if distorted by life and comatose ~ is still IN there somewhere LISTENING... and it would be best to stay calm and say what I might want to hear if I were in a similar situation. I sang to him and thanked him for his gifts to me and to my brother.

The structure of my father's distorting impact on me took more than a few decades to heal. I'm lucky to have found support and wonderful friends who believed in me. Evidently, to be able to clear some of those impacts seems to be why I came to Earth School. That and to learn how to help others heal from their distortions ~ whether structural, emotional, or spiritual.

THANK YOU, Shelby B. Larson! You've also held out to me a different assessment of AI !💜! Please Keep writing! Useful. Probing. Stirring up important conversations! May you be well.

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Crystal of Sacred WomBirth's avatar

This landed for me—especially the part about distortion becoming structure. In my work with birth and the womb, I see how unresolved patterns from the motherline can harden into identity and even into the way we birth. Birth then becomes not just physical, but the place where those distortions can be witnessed, softened, and cleared—without collapse, but with coherence. Thank you for unfolding this with such care.

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